Mind Purge
I don’t really have a topic or anything too specific to say, so I figured I would just have a few mini-rants.
1. Lunch Buffet- I hate how you asshats (thanks Craig’s List) screw people for money. Is a pound of broccoli worth as much as a pound of general Tao’s chicken? No, it is not. So I resent the fact that I have to pick my lunch around what weighs the least not what is actually more expensive. So you will excuse my surprise when you told me that my total would be $7.31 for the salad I was holding. But when I returned to the office it became painfully clear where I had made my mistake. I took a few halves of eggs and placed them on top of my lettuce pile. Please ignore the fact that eggs can be bought for about 1.50 for a dozen. I guess that’s what I get for being too much of a lazy ass to pack my own lunch. Though they were the best 6.99 a pound eggs I have ever had.
2. Blackberries- People, I know you’re stuck in traffic and all but is this really the best time for you to be reading your email/sports scores/etc? We are stopped right this second, but next second we will be moving. Except you wont move because you’re staring at your PDA. Instead 10 cars will cut in front of you, leaving all of us not even an inch closer to our homes. So please, drive and then when you’re safely in your home/driveway/wherever the hell you’re going THEN use the PDA.
3. Company Credit Card User- Listen, I was not born yesterday. I appreciate you giving me your travel expense report super soon after your trip and all. Did you also think I would be so impressed I would not actually read it? Because I did in fact read it and I did notice that you were watching an awful lot of films in your room late in the evening. This could be since you came home late from meetings and the such, or it could be after you were done getting tanked at the bar in the lobby. You see there are times listed with the charges. So I can see you ate dinner at 7:30, closed out your bar tab at 1:15 and then ordered a “film” at 1:35. I shouldn’t assume the yours watching porn and hoping that the company will pay for it, but since you’ve already tried to slip in a purchase from an online porn retailer through my desk by marking it as “office supplies” I am going to assume my instincts are right. I believe I will go into your office tomorrow while someone else is in there and ask you which films you watched and how you enjoyed them. But then again I am a little evil.
4. The 4th quarter- I have nothing personally against the last quarter of the fiscal year, I mean who doesn’t love the holiday season. But every time a quarter closes there is always so much crap for me to do. So 3rd quarter I will miss you, I wish people kept better records during you. And 4th quarter, screw you….I hope we can learn to love each other in the end.
Ok then, as you can see the ADD is in full swing (well I at least *wish* I could use that as an excuse)
First Year-
1. Lunch Buffet- I hate how you asshats (thanks Craig’s List) screw people for money. Is a pound of broccoli worth as much as a pound of general Tao’s chicken? No, it is not. So I resent the fact that I have to pick my lunch around what weighs the least not what is actually more expensive. So you will excuse my surprise when you told me that my total would be $7.31 for the salad I was holding. But when I returned to the office it became painfully clear where I had made my mistake. I took a few halves of eggs and placed them on top of my lettuce pile. Please ignore the fact that eggs can be bought for about 1.50 for a dozen. I guess that’s what I get for being too much of a lazy ass to pack my own lunch. Though they were the best 6.99 a pound eggs I have ever had.
2. Blackberries- People, I know you’re stuck in traffic and all but is this really the best time for you to be reading your email/sports scores/etc? We are stopped right this second, but next second we will be moving. Except you wont move because you’re staring at your PDA. Instead 10 cars will cut in front of you, leaving all of us not even an inch closer to our homes. So please, drive and then when you’re safely in your home/driveway/wherever the hell you’re going THEN use the PDA.
3. Company Credit Card User- Listen, I was not born yesterday. I appreciate you giving me your travel expense report super soon after your trip and all. Did you also think I would be so impressed I would not actually read it? Because I did in fact read it and I did notice that you were watching an awful lot of films in your room late in the evening. This could be since you came home late from meetings and the such, or it could be after you were done getting tanked at the bar in the lobby. You see there are times listed with the charges. So I can see you ate dinner at 7:30, closed out your bar tab at 1:15 and then ordered a “film” at 1:35. I shouldn’t assume the yours watching porn and hoping that the company will pay for it, but since you’ve already tried to slip in a purchase from an online porn retailer through my desk by marking it as “office supplies” I am going to assume my instincts are right. I believe I will go into your office tomorrow while someone else is in there and ask you which films you watched and how you enjoyed them. But then again I am a little evil.
4. The 4th quarter- I have nothing personally against the last quarter of the fiscal year, I mean who doesn’t love the holiday season. But every time a quarter closes there is always so much crap for me to do. So 3rd quarter I will miss you, I wish people kept better records during you. And 4th quarter, screw you….I hope we can learn to love each other in the end.
Ok then, as you can see the ADD is in full swing (well I at least *wish* I could use that as an excuse)
First Year-
posted by First Year at 12:08 PM
5 Comments:
Thanks for the good vibes! Don't spend; if I can do it, so can you! You're in law school, you don't have time to shop!!
You are a funny girl! I found your through Sheila's comments.
I love how you paid so much for your buffet, but so glad you enjoyed what you had. And that it was worth it.
You are worth it as well.
Take care!!
Point 1 - AMEN!
Point 2 - No opinion, but sounds good.
Point 3 - Call that bastard out! Especially if said bastard wields no power over you!
Point 4 - Holidays: Good. Fewer hours of sunshine: Not good.
you funny grasshopper.
but i thought porn was a legitimate business expense? you mean it's not?!
Post a Comment
<< Home