Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Hiring People Sucks

This is another work/accounting related rant…

I have had the “pleasure” recently to help participate in the hiring of a new person in my department. To begin with I got to weed out the resumes passed on to us by HR. So, below First Year’s tips for sending your resume and cover letter, we all know the inane tips (spelling, grammar, etc) but I was still amazed by what made it to my desk, it seems HR doesn’t read cover letters, just checks for basic experience/education, thanks HR.

1. If you don’t know the name of the person who you are sending the cover letter to the wrong thing to write is… “Hiya!!!”, or “Hey There….”, or “Check This Out!”.

2. We list specific things we’d like you to be able to do in relations to accounting, is this what you meant when you said, “I know how to do accounting and stuff.” It’s a mystery, I was tempted to call you in just to find out what this mysterious accounting “stuff” was.

3. Don’t ask us to compromise on certain key issues. For example, while we do appreciate a multi-cultural environment here (well most people anyhow), you really do need to speak English fluently to work here. So when you say, “I write this for my friend because he doesn’t speak English, but instead German and French.” Please understand why you friend cannot work here.

4. Don’t make it difficult for us to contact you. I prefer to email you, if you prefer a phone call (well…you know what YOU are the one applying so really, maybe you should let us pick…) don’t give inane time windows in which we may call you. “My preference is a phone call during the hours of 8 am until 10 am, and again from 6:30 pm until 10 pm, thanks. Well my preference is to not make work calls before or after work, so the 1 hour time window in which I may call you might not work for me. So you got placed into the trash.


Now, that aside, when you actually come in an interview please be aware of how you treat other people in the office, not just your interviewer. First, HR will meet you and show you around, then I will meet you. Here’s what not to do:

1. I know I am young, and look even younger. Despite this I will still be your manager if hired so none of the following are good things to say to me, “Wow, you look like a baby!”, “But you’re so young, if the manager out today?”. “You are going to interview me?”

2. Do not joke that you should be the manager and I should be the assistant. How rude is that? Yea, because I want someone working under me who thinks they should be my manager….we’d have a great working relationship I am sure.

3. Don’t act indignant that you are pushing 50 and will be working under someone not even half-way to 30. I know that has to suck, but you don’t have much experience, got your education late, not my fault. In fact its your fault, you chose to stay home with your kids until they were 18 (excessive….?) so expect to start back where you left off. Saying, “I can’t work for someone who is young enough to be my child, I’d mother you too much!” makes me really not want to hire you.

4. You don’t get to pick who interviews you. If you feel you didn’t get to tell me everything you wanted to, send me an email with a follow up afterwards. Do not stare at me when I thank you for coming in, stand up, and extend my hand and say, “But we’re not done. Maybe someone else can talk to me.” No, we’re done and I hated you. But thanks for coming in!

Yick, interviews all week this week. I have a pretty good idea of who will get the position though :)

FY-

7 Comments:

Blogger First Year said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

6:39 AM  
Blogger Evil HR Lady said...

Thanks for sharing! Now you know why I am not in staffing. No thank you.

I think my favorite was the "I write this for my friend because he doesn’t speak English, but instead German and French."

Ha!

7:02 AM  
Blogger I-66 said...

Oy... the fact that common sense is not as common as it should be rears its ugly head again.

10:38 AM  
Blogger TabithaRuth said...

"Wow, you look like a baby!"
I guess it would be unprofessional to counter with "Wow, you are a complete moron."

Hope your candidates improve, but if they don't at least total strangers on the internet will be amused :)

(I found you through evilhrlady, I know bloggers like to know where these random comments originate sometimes)

12:28 PM  
Blogger M said...

Are you really not even half-way to 30? So you're 14 I guess.

Anyways, I found the "accounting and stuff" comment to be truly hilarious. What on earth could it mean?

2:10 PM  
Blogger dicta said...

you should hire 3 of them, then as their first assignment, put them in a room until they agree which one gets to stay. it's not efficient, it's not classy, but i think it'd be fun!

9:27 AM  
Blogger Evil HR Lady said...

I just linked to this post. I don't know how to do a trackback for you, though! Sorry about that.

8:58 AM  

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