Saturday, March 01, 2008

You Are a Grown Ass Adult!

Sometimes I think that some people need to be reminded that they are in fact grown, and need to begin acting that way at some time. Perhaps the problem is that these people feel that they are entitled to be coddled until they die, or maybe they don't even realize that they are acting out because their behavior seem normal to them. So, I figured I would put together a small handy guide to figure out whether you are acting like a petulant child, or actually living life as intended, as a functioning member of society.

1. If you have one or more children and you do not know who his/her/their father is.....something has gone awry in your life. No I am not calling your offspring bastard children, and yes I know you love them and are so happy they are here. What I am saying is having a baby and not knowing who the father is, well thats not GOOD....actually its BAD, thats the wrong thing to do.

If you react to this happening in your life by examining your behavior, slapping on a condom or popping a pill, and working to improve your are acting like an adult...go you!

If you react to this by having more children with different men, perhaps need to grow the fuck up, seriously. Get your act together, take a break from the casual sex, and just take care of you responsibilities.

2. If you are 30 years old, you have a college degree, and your parents financially support you.....thats not good. You have all the tools to be a fully functioning adult....please do so. This is made even more pathetic if you're married, and especially if you have children of your own.

You're 30 and you have a good education, you are not underprivileged with no skills....why don't you go get a job, live somewhere you can afford and budget carefully to meet all your own financial obligations? Its really not that tough, you should have been practicing for years, but you can start now.

Living with your family (you know the one you started because thats what adults sometimes do?) in your parents home because you "can't afford" your own is BAD, it is not the norm, and it shows a significant failure in some way of being a functioning member of society. Your parents already raised their children, why don't you go do the same? Please?

3. This goes along with the previous bullet, if you think that you are poor because you can't make your rent payment but you have a new car, all the video game system, new mp3 players, and so are retarded. Stop buying junk and paying your bills.

As an adult you make money, and then you chose how to spend it. Grown ass adults pay their important bills FIRST (aka rent, insurance, car payment, food, and so on) and then if there is money left over save some and spend some on non-essential fun things. People who should technically be adults according to age but who don't act that way, spend it on crap they don't need first and then cry poor and are mystified that they don't have enough money left over for a place to live.

Listen....don't be fucking stupid. You NEED a place to for that first you moron, that way you can house all your expensive junk. Also, if 50% of your income goes to your car payment, thats should not have bought that car.

I hope this has been helpful, but I know the idiots I have described wont see themselves in this.

First Year - (who has heard one too many sob stories where the "victim" was really an active participant in making their own woe)


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