Monday, February 26, 2007

Ding Dong the Witch is Dead :)

Well now that I am back out and about I can share my wonderful work related news. My most hated of all my coworkers had “severed her relationship with the company”. It was a wonderful little scandal to come back to, such a high ranking person canned with no warning? Juicy! So to honor the memory of the world’s worse coworker and project manger every I will commiserate with the things I liked and hated most about her.

Liked: (yes, this is going to be very hard).

1. Her office was on the total opposite end of the floor from me. Even if she screamed at full throttle I would be safe from her hyena type laugh in my office.

2. She was so lazy she often didn’t come in to work or came late and left early. While this meant she never got her work actually done, it did mean I didn’t have to deal with her as much.

3. She was an easy target, it was so easy to get her flustered and no entertaining to watch the meltdown that would ensue, I will miss that it was almost better then having direct TV, almost.

Hated: (I will try to keep it to 3… promises)

1. Utter incompetence with menial tasks. For example I know she knew how to mail a letter but for some reason she would spend 10 times the amount of time it would take to place postage on the envelope and slip it into the “out” mailbox to find someone else to do this task for her. Ditto for copying, faxing or any of the other things we all spend a few seconds doing here and there. She was always so swamped she never had time to do these tasks, but somehow she always had the 10-15 minutes per task it would take her to locate someone to do it for her. Pure genius.

2. Nastiness. Not only was she dumb, lazy and worthless she was also horribly mean, demeaning, patronizing, and just a jack-ass. Everyone hated her, no one invited her anywhere, and office doors would slam shut if we heard her hooves coming down the hallway. If you’re going to be an idiot you cannot also be a huge bitch, unless of course you’re model quality hot, which she wasn’t.

3. Job performance. I don’t know how much of her day she spent on actual work, but from my calculations it was even less then me (and that’s amazing). Seriously, I’d ask her to do a task that would take half an hour or less and she wouldn’t get to the task for 2 weeks despite numerous reminders. But, before some of you feel bad for her because she was so busy, no she wasn’t during those 2 weeks she sent out numerous joke emails, requests for magazines to read, and other indications that she was bored.

Well that’s it, now she’s gone from our lives forever. Cutting off her benefits was one of the most gratifying things I’ve gotten to do at this job. The sadness and slight feeling of loss that accompanied a beloved coworkers departure is distinctly missing here. I don’t really wish her luck as I feel bad for whoever ends up with her. She’s difficult to work with, the subordinates hate her, her coworkers hate her, and in the end even the big boss ended up hated her. She was a nasty, lazy and even ugly person.

That felt better J

First Year-


Blogger she said: said...

So - she can't even fall back on stripping?

I was going to say she would probably wind up pregnant and passing on her lazy DNA, but it looks like you already calmed my fears.

Side note - just yesterday the server who was checking me out for my restaurant tab started giving me my change - one item at a time.
She put one coin on the check tray. Went back in the cash register for another coin - put it on the tray. Lather rinse repeat. She did this 5 times. 3 coins and two bills. I've seen blind people resolve cash better than this person.

The world seems to have an endless supply of people can only function minimally. And they are all in my way.

2:00 PM  
Anonymous Cologne Student said...

Just reminden me of the scene in "naked gun", when Frank Drebin asks the piano player to "play our song" an he comes up with the one in your headline... thanks ;) ;)

5:31 AM  

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