Sunday, March 18, 2007

When You Want to Look Ugly on Your Wedding Day

Since I am getting hitched I have been looking around for wedding dresses. As most people have told me to start with the bridal magazines so I could get an idea of what I liked I did just that. But I have discovered something horrifying when flipping through dresses appear to come in a few different types...ugly, really fucking ugly, for mormons, or for I don't even know who. Please tell me who looks through these magazines and sites, lays eyes on any of the following dresses and sees their dream dress? Please...please!!!!

Puffy Mermaid: What the hell is this? Who is looking for the perfect combination of unforgivingly tight material and fuzzy whateve, all in an asymetrical shape?

Disablingly Mermaid: Perhaps the people who were interested in the above dress but hated the puffy/feathery shit really dreamed of a gown so tight they couldn't walk. I mean when my knees are bound together by a tiny stretch of fabric and I am wearing high heels I am always really happy. I guess this is for those who don't really care about their own comfort on their wedding day.

Chewed Bubble Gum: If neither a sleep super tight gown nor a furry nightmare are right for you, how a dress that looks like someone randoming tacked up pieces of it?

Don't Stand Too Close: When you're wearing this dress you wont have to worry about hugging your guests, dancing with your brand new husband or sitting down!

Buble Gum Chain: When a regular train just wont do because its YOUR DAY!!!!

So there you have it.... either designers are completely confused about what looks good on women, or maybe these are really fashionable and I am out of touch...

First Year :)


Anonymous phoenix said...

hey, if you want somthing simple and pretty, check out

or how about patriot jersies? oh wait....


6:54 PM  
Blogger Mademoiselle De Rigueur said...

how sad I loved all of them except the Dont Stand too Close.

11:21 PM  
Blogger LawNut said...


I know what you mean about wedding dresses. Personally, I found mine on the sale rack at David's Bridal of all places, believe it or not. It cost me $300 and was absolutely gorgeously simple. To this day, I love it.

6:46 PM  
Blogger Scotch and Sandwiches said...

I personally think nothing looks very good on women. Probably would be a big hit on your wedding day. Might have a lot of people trying to push the groom aside and jump into his place though, and that might get annoying.

2:40 PM  

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