Tuesday, April 08, 2008

At Work Tip: Volume 1 Scheduling Meetings

If you send around a meeting appointment that you say is urgent and we all say yes and then actually show up....don't blame us for getting pissed when you forget about it and don't show up.....especially not get angry when we wait 10 minutes and then get back to you.

YOU wanted the meeting, YOU know what is to be discussed and none of the rest of us care frankly.

Also, when you sent around a 2nd meeting notice for later that afternoon despite the busy blocks on people's schedules and then proceeded to leave work 30 minutes before your 2nd meeting started....yea we were not impressed.

So heres a tip:

- When you schedule a meeting show up.
- If you schedule a meeting, and don't show up....apoligize.
- If you schedule a meeting, you don't show up, and you don't apoligize do not then get angry when people give up and move on to something else instead of waiting for you to waltz in.
-If you do all of the above anyhow (despite the warnings) do not schedule a 2nd meeting at another time when you wont be showing up.
- If you do schedule such a 2nd meeting, and don't show up, and also don't apoligize do not be surprised when future meeting requests come back checked with a "no".

So...simply...show up to meetings you schedule, don't schedule meetings when you wont be there, and apoligize if you find yourself acting like a douche.

-First Year-

Thursday, April 03, 2008

Poor Grace

I got a comment on my blog today that just made me laugh out loud. Grace writes,

"Grace said...
You're an arrogant, rude little girl.No wonder you couldn't get through law school."

Grace, I must know....what so infuriated you over my post? Was is that I don't enjoy arriving at work covered in the beverage I meant to drink on the way to work thus insulting people who enjoy looking they don't know how to drink from a cup properly? Was this the arrogant part? Well, I guess it is a little high and mighty of me to think that I should be given my beverage in a condition that I can actually drink, how DARE I??? No really, how fucking dare I?

And which part of it was rude? Asking the woman nicely that she clean the cup and place a new lid on it? How on earth is that rude? Is it rude to make any request at all of the people at McD's? Should people stop asking for extra napkins, sauce containers and for replacement food if they were given the wrong thing?

And I am really giggle over the last part of this......now THIS incident is the reason I could not finish law school? It couldn't have been that law school was literally sucking the will to live out of me, killing my spirit, and did not interest me in the way that accounting and HR do......but it was because I'd like my beverage served to be in a cup without a hole in it, with a lid on it securely, and without liquid gushing out of the top/sides of it? REALLY???

Please Grace come back and explain, I must know more. Perhaps you hold the key to my success in life. Coach me oh wise one.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Work Work Work Blah Blah Blah

The lack of posts can be mainly blamed on an overload of work. Wouldn't you know it, but just as I am catching up the end of the 1st quarter rolls around and a whole mess load of closing out this, and reporting that must happen.

So lets take some time to reflect on the first quarter....how was everyone's January to March? Did you do anything exciting? Did you do anything new? Did you accomplish anythig?

For me....

Exciting.... I had the very best meal of my life at MiniBar, a teeny tiny 6 seat restuarant in a restuarant inside of Cafe Atlantica. It was absolutely delicous, and if I were I food reviewer I would rave and rave. It was so much fun, basically you get 30 courses of mini foods, all sorts of things.

New..... Yea I did do something new....all season long I had been really enjoying the Patriots tremendous winning streak.....which was shattered, resulting in much saddness for all. It totally sucked, but hey it was definitely "NEW" since they decided they'd like to try out loosing at the Super Bowl.

Accomplish..... I cant say a new job because I got this one during the 4th quarter of 2007. But I have managed not to get fired, not to mess up any huge projects, and the such. I've also accomplished much drinking.....does that actually count as an accomplishment.

So....3 people still reading along...whats up?

First Year-

Friday, March 14, 2008

Why I Hate Salespeople

I know that sales is a job just like any other, and we actually NEED them here to sell our product, do demos, negotiate contracts and the such. But really do these folks have to be such total douche bags.

In an attempt to be a good employee I always answer their emails, give them the info that they ask for (even if they could easily get it themselves), and so on. But at this point, it really takes up a lot of my time, time that should be spend actually doing the work I was hired for. On top of that, I begin to get a little more and more bitter at all of the perks they recieve, while seemingly doing so much less work.

It started when they had their annual sales conference in a location on a the beach, where they and their spouses recieved airfare, hotel, food, activities, golf, and so on for a week to attend this meeting. The rest of us got to be back here, in frigid ass semi-frozen tundra that was the DC metro area.

Next they were given a cruise for free, also with flights, food, transfers, activities included, also with their mates attending. This was not a meeting, so they could not even play it like they were working. The bitterness definitely grew, this was after they;d only been back in the office a week. I haven't had a vacation in I dont even know how long, but here they get 2 free on the company while we don't so much as get the day before Christmas off. Real nice, a great way to build team spirit. And yes I know I am being childish and petty, if I were a saleperson I would get it too, but I am not so I don't.

Now in view all of these perks they get over me I really start to find myself feeling less and less chartible towards them and my will to want to help them when I don't technically have to and they could do it themselves really has faded to basically nothing.

There are 2 here that I actually like as human beings, and they never ask me for anything if they can do it themselves, they do their own work because in the end I wont be getting a penny of their commision, or a flight to Florida for anything I do. I'll just get my paycheck (which really is good enough for me, I just dont need these other perks flaunted in my face thank you very much). The others, I wouldn't care if they left yesterday. Here is a brief list of why I hate our salespeople.

1. They did not take to heart that saying that "A lack of planning on your part does not equal an emergency on my part". So, a few weeks back when a salesman ran up to me 5 minutes before quitting time demanding I pull all sorts of information for him because he had a dinner meeting and needed it to give to the client, I was none to sympathetic.

"How long ago did you plan this meeting?" I asked.

"About a week back" says the out of breath salesman.

"Well you should have put your request in them, I am going home at its xx:xx o'clock, so I wont be able to help you until tomorrow, You can get x info and x info by yourself, the rest your regional manager can pull for you"

"But....I can't ask him, its too close to the meeting, can't you just do this for me?"

"Sorry I've got plans, I am out for the day, I'll see you tomorrow" as I put my coat on, turn off my computer and gather my belongings.

I didn't actually have plans, I am just a bitch. I wont be staying an hour late because this asshole didn't ask me for something in time and now doesn't want to ask his manager because he'll get in trouble. Seriously, you want to make an upsell YOU work for it, I dont get a penny extra for going out of my way to help you out. So now, I sure did enjoy sitting on the couch watching TMZ while you must have been getting reamed out for waiting until the last minute.

2.Blatant rudeness. Now, these folks have to be people people because they manage to sell stuff to other people right? Why then is it that they cannot say a simple Please and a Thank You? When you do something for them?

It drives me up a wall.....you people are not my supervisors or bosses in anyway so would it kill you to change, "Get me this now!!!!" and than snatching it from me and walking off with a grunt to "I am in a tight spot, could you please pull this for me?.... Oh thank you so much!"

My working theory is that these guys are total douche bags and they spend so much time surpressing their horrible personalities to make nice nice with the clients that they simply cannot restrain their natural asshole any longer.

3. FUCKING RESPOND TO EMAIL....thats right email. When I send you an email asking for a client contact or something only you would know, actually answer me back. You'd have a total heart attack if I didn't answer you back in 30 minutes, so why is it that I have to send you reminder after reminder to get you to give me one phone number or email address. Are you that busy and important? I really don't think so.

Ahhh this makes me appreciate the 2 good ones so much more.

No Love-

First Year-

Monday, March 03, 2008

Keep Your Filthy Cup To Yourself!

I managed to insult a McDonald's employee this morning, and while I can sympathize with their position, I am afraid I still don't feel as if I was "in the wrong".

Background: I drive to work in Tysons, there is a McD's between my home and the highway (the point of no return and no exit). sometimes I stop there before work for an ice coffee or a sweet tea. During the past I have been handing dripping cups, cups with the lids off, and so on. The final straw of course was the time I was given a cup, with an actually HOLE in it. I thought the thing was just dripping, but no.....after getting halfway to work it was clear all the liquid the cup once had was spilled all over my car and cupholder and myself.

So I have taken to inspecting the cups I get from there before taking them into my car. Not a long drawn out 55 point inspection, but just a glance to make sure there isn't a hole and the lid is on, is not broken, and that it is not overflowing all over the place.

So this morning, I ordered my sweet tea, I drove around and was handed a cut that was activitly dripping, from the top, where it was pretty managled.

Ms. Drive Tru Lady....can you LOOK at what you're handing me please? Would anyone want a dripping, sticky, dark colored beverage leaking from a cup on the way to work? No, no one would like that....so if you see it (and you must because you're holding it out to me) why not just fix it instead of hoping I will take it anyway and not bother wit arguing?

Well, I didn't just take it, I looked at it, looked at my nice clean light colored pants, and asks for it to be cleaned and a new cover placed on.

You sighing, dumping it in the garabage and starting over did not really impress me. I am not the pain here, if you'd not make a huge mess of the cup, I'd take it. I get a little drip or two....but there should not be so much beverage it leaks out of the poorly put on and partially damaged lid.

So thank you for making me a new one, and handing me a clean cup....but no thank you for snorting at me and rolling your eyes. You were actually the employee that handing me a cup with a HOLE in it, using a napkin to cover the hole, so I could not see it until it was waaaay too late. So excuse me if I don't exactly trust your beverage containment skills


First Year-

Saturday, March 01, 2008

You Are a Grown Ass Adult!

Sometimes I think that some people need to be reminded that they are in fact grown, and need to begin acting that way at some time. Perhaps the problem is that these people feel that they are entitled to be coddled until they die, or maybe they don't even realize that they are acting out because their behavior seem normal to them. So, I figured I would put together a small handy guide to figure out whether you are acting like a petulant child, or actually living life as intended, as a functioning member of society.

1. If you have one or more children and you do not know who his/her/their father is.....something has gone awry in your life. No I am not calling your offspring bastard children, and yes I know you love them and are so happy they are here. What I am saying is having a baby and not knowing who the father is, well thats not GOOD....actually its BAD, thats the wrong thing to do.

If you react to this happening in your life by examining your behavior, slapping on a condom or popping a pill, and working to improve your situation....you are acting like an adult...go you!

If you react to this by having more children with different men, perhaps several....you need to grow the fuck up, seriously. Get your act together, take a break from the casual sex, and just take care of you responsibilities.

2. If you are 30 years old, you have a college degree, and your parents financially support you.....thats not good. You have all the tools to be a fully functioning adult....please do so. This is made even more pathetic if you're married, and especially if you have children of your own.

You're 30 and you have a good education, you are not underprivileged with no skills....why don't you go get a job, live somewhere you can afford and budget carefully to meet all your own financial obligations? Its really not that tough, you should have been practicing for years, but you can start now.

Living with your family (you know the one you started because thats what adults sometimes do?) in your parents home because you "can't afford" your own is BAD, it is not the norm, and it shows a significant failure in some way of being a functioning member of society. Your parents already raised their children, why don't you go do the same? Please?

3. This goes along with the previous bullet, if you think that you are poor because you can't make your rent payment but you have a new car, all the video game system, new mp3 players, and so on....you are retarded. Stop buying junk and paying your bills.

As an adult you make money, and then you chose how to spend it. Grown ass adults pay their important bills FIRST (aka rent, insurance, car payment, food, and so on) and then if there is money left over save some and spend some on non-essential fun things. People who should technically be adults according to age but who don't act that way, spend it on crap they don't need first and then cry poor and are mystified that they don't have enough money left over for a place to live.

Listen....don't be fucking stupid. You NEED a place to live....pay for that first you moron, that way you can house all your expensive junk. Also, if 50% of your income goes to your car payment, thats BAD.....you should not have bought that car.

I hope this has been helpful, but I know the idiots I have described wont see themselves in this.

First Year - (who has heard one too many sob stories where the "victim" was really an active participant in making their own woe)

Friday, February 29, 2008

Yes - It IS Your birthday!!!

Some people might disagree....but I think by the time you're out in the working world, and you're say 24, your birthday sort of ceases to be a big deal. Sure I like to go out and celebrate, maybe invite some friends to dinner or a bar, maybe get some presents and the usual $100 check from my parents, you know commiserate on being a year older and closer to renting a car with no extra under 25 fee (only 6 more months until I'm 25, where if I were a car I'd qualify for antique tags).

Not this chick at work though. No....her birthday is a HUGE DEAL. I don't even know when most of my coworker's birthdays are, and I don't care (well, unless we get cake or something, then I do care). She began talking about her birthday to anyone who would listen last week (her birthday was yesterday), she took the day of her birthday off (hey, fair enough), she threw *herself* a huge party and invited everyone and badgered them endlessly to come because its MY BIRTHDAY.

Literally every other work out of her month was birthday, birthday birthday.

So today she comes in the day after, and she's officially 24.....wooohooooo. Now please shut the fuck up, seriously please just stop, right now.

Does it make me a bad person that I think this person is going to be taught a lesson (in how to not be a completely obnoxious bitch)....because when she left for lunch about 15 minutes ago the poor girl who sits next to her took a poll to see who was going to her party tonight, and can't find one single person who is. I would go....but I sort of hate her.

The lesson here folks: No one but you and maybe your family and a best friend or two care one little teeny bit about your getting older. In fact, its stupid that you're so excited about it. Also, generally talking about the same subject over and over and over again with no break, especially when no one but you cares will not win you any friends. And then no one will even pretend to care enough to go out and go to your party to commemorate the day of your birth.


First Year-
Listed on BlogShares